Monthly Archives: August 2013

Response to Natasha (Domestica)’s The Feminist Movement Screwed Us

This originally started as a simple note of appreciation, and became a coffee-induced tome. I moved it here rather than burdening the comment thread with it.

My response to The Feminist Movement Screwed Us

“Home is the most important place for a man to be affirmed. If a man knows that his wife believes in him, he is empowered to do better in every area of his life. A man tends to think of life as a competition and a battle, and he can energetically go duke it out if he can come home to someone who supports him unconditionally, who will wipe his brow and tell him he can do it.”

With all this stirring in my heart, imagine my reaction as I passed by a Hallmark store the other day. On their most prominent end-aisle display sat gifts and wrapping supplies “for Dad,” including a gift bag that said in giant lettering: “Mr. (kind of) Fix-It” and a paper weight with the bolded statement “If I only had a brain.”

Please tell me which husband or father has either of these gifts on their wish list! Whether the statements ring true or not, I don’t know of a single man who wants to be reminded of inadequacy by the people he wants to impress the most…his wife and children.
Natasha (Domestica)
The Feminist Movement Screwed Us

Nice to read something positive and encouraging about men for a change. I’m heartened by it, yet there’s a sad irony that a positive article about men should be considered to be heartening.

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Don’t be that girl

Belatedly.Don't be that girl

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The Patriarchy

A laugh (or weeping) a minute! Turn an objective, reality-based eye to A Feminist Theory Dictionary

Patriarchy

July 16, 2007 by yukoamano

A society or system which is ruled or controlled by men. Generally, patriarchy is a system of roles that women do housework and that men work outside and support their family. Patriarchy is a hierarchy in society such as women earn less money than men. Patriarchy is not just formed by men. It has a connection with a social economic system such as capitalism. According to Heidi Hartmann, patriarchy is “Controlling women’s access to resources and their sexuality, in turn, allows men to control women’s labor power, both for the purpose of serving men in many personal and sexual ways and for the purpose of rearing children.

Patriarchy can not be separable with capitalism, however, how the division of labour which is women work at home and which is men work outside started is not clear. I think that the system of patriarchy is a social dominance by men, however, I don’t think patriarchy is directly constructed by men, because men don’t necessarily try to form patriarchy.

Posted in capitalism, hierarchy, oppression, patriarchy | 1 Comment »

http://afeministtheorydictionary.wordpress.com/2007/07/16/patriarchy/

My response:

The Patriarchy is a cartoon

Click on this image to get the full-sized version as a .png

Download this image as a PDF, 18×24, 300dpi. Approx 114 kb.
The Patriarchy is a cartoon

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“Patriarchy is a cartoon” by Francis Roy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

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Two legs good! Three legs baaad!

Of course all men don’t hate women. But all men must know they benefit from sexism

Anger is an entirely appropriate response to learning that you’re implicated in a system that oppresses women – but the solution isn’t to direct that anger back at women.
Laurie Penny
http://www.newstatesman.com/2013/08/laurie-penny/men-sexism

Ah yes… the well-rehearsed bleat of “two legs good, three legs bad”. To most people, this overplayed pop-tune is the cultural hormonal throb of the day, evoking little more than a response of the protection of the weak. Of course, our dichotomous thinking often causes the simplest, most elusively-obvious fallacy: if women are the good ones to protect, men must be the bad ones to punish.

This article is little more than the required daily dose of Men as Perpetrators, Women as Victims. Women are weak, pathetic little children who must above all be protected by the big, dangerous, horrible men lurking in alleys just waiting to pounce on a woman and strip her of all power and dignity.

It’s time to stop swallowing the kool-aid, the blue pills and to get clean and sober. I offer the cure to this sickness:

Women are people too, and as such, are responsible for their own lives, destiny, sense of comfort and safety. Their lives, their responsibility. Women have agency and are responsible for their own responses. If feminism is the radical notion that women are people, good thinking is the radical notion that they are adults with their share of power and agency as well. It’s time to stop protecting the women-children who insist that all that is bad is due entirely to men, to let them skin their knees, fall off of their own bicycles and grow up.

Two legs good! Three legs baaad! Feminism hurts women too!

Two legs good! Three legs baaad! Feminism hurts women too!

Two legs good! Three legs baaad! Feminism hurts women too! Click on this image to download the full-sized image. 1024px by 955px. Approx 98kb.

 

Download the Two Legs Good, Three Legs Baad pdf. Right click, save as…

Credit for the sheep cartoon.

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“Two legs good! Three legs baaad!” by Francis Roy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

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On calling someone an “enemy”

A response I made to someone who had declared that a writer was an “enemy” of the Men’s Human Rights Movement.

I don’t see the value of calling anyone an “enemy”

Enemy, noun
1. a person who feels hatred for, fosters harmful designs against, or engages in antagonistic activities against another; an adversary or opponent.

Antagonist, noun
1. a person that actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something; an adversary.

I believe the term we might prefer is

Opponent, noun
1.a person who is on an opposing side in a game, contest, controversy, or the like; adversary.

Not only, generally, will it be a more factual description, it also lessens the needless vilifying of our interlocutor.

If what we want to achieve is a genuine equality based on good-will, then it stands to reason that a more dispassionate, accurate and respectful term be used.

Our quest, is, among other things, to create and live in a world where people treat each other well, regardless of sex. My opinion is that it is easier to gain someone’s listening, understanding and empathy, hopefully leading to agreement toward the mutual goal of basic human decency in the world of law, media and politics if we avoid the unnecessary assumption that we are “the good guys” and that they are “the bad guys”.

Each, I believe, should be treated on a case-per-case basis, allowing them the space to declare themselves friend or foe. Since we cannot speak for another’s intention, merely their behaviour, it’s best to refer to the latter, rather than the former.

Relational Agression: A dagger in the dark

It’s a woman’s problem.

Thank you, Diana Davidson for elucidating something that has long lived on the edge of my mind. Finally, after years of observation,without the ability to verbalize it, someone has made it clear.

Sometimes all it takes is a term. In this case, the term is relational aggression.

While many feminist proponents, or even women in general, like to claim that it is men who cause wars, what they fail to point out is that very often, the men are influenced into creating war to satisfy one or more woman’s needs. Her tool of influence is relational aggression. Not limited to outright the bully tactic of waving a big stick, the power that women have always had is that of the hidden dagger.

Women are not more complex, they are more indirect. Based on my life’s experience, a woman’s first priority, or more accurately, many “modern” women’s first priority is usually her safety first, her comfort second, her amusement third, then she’s ready to deign to handle what other people need or want.

Relational aggression is the perfect term to describe what I used to think of as “hidden combat”. Common tactics are the use of deceit, action-by-proxy, and as always, veiled and plausibly deniable speech. Their objective is to increase their own material well-being and social status. They attack the individual psychologically and emotionally, rather than physically. They seek points of insecurity or pride and use them as leverage to control the individual.

Finally, we see the value of Men as Perpetrators, Women as Victim narrative.

A multi-billion industry is funded by a dagger in the dark.

A bit of parody for punctuation:

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An example of discussion with Radical Feminists

This debate is typical of those that I have with feminists. Notice the marked difference in substance and style. Kathy Lettes’ position and behaviour is shameful.

While Feminism might be the radical notion that women are people, Anti-feminism is the radical notion that women are also adults with full agency and personal responsibility, and should behave and be treated accordingly.

Rather than taking responsibility for their own behaviour and response to trolls, Radical Feminists appear to believe that they are entitled to be free of dealing with The Ugly Public unless it is on their own whimsical terms.

Kathy Lettes, it’s time to put on your Big Girl Panties.

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Coming out as a Men’s Rights Activist

The time has come to express myself clearly and openly as a Men’s Rights Activist.

I am an MRA. I am a Men’s Rights Activist (or as some prefer: A Men’s Human Rights Activist), Advocate, a Man Going His Own Way and an anti-feminist. I am an anti-feminist in the sense that I am anti-feminism, feminism being an ideology that incites and promotes hatred, and fosters an acute sense of self-centered victim mindedness. Put differently: call it as you wish, gender feminism, academic feminism, radical feminism is merely an abdication of one’s own personal responsibility and behaviour for one’s own life, within the given circumstances.

I am pro treating people with dignity, respect, and dare I say: kindness. Hatred–an intense, passionate dislike–is not part of my emotional repertoire save for those who are demonstrably deceptive, self-, or otherwise.

I expect people to behave as mature, educated adults. I expect integrity from my interlocutor. Failure to behave with such around me will result in the sight of my back as I walk away. I have no time to waste with people who have more interest in emoting, blaming, condemning, rather than achieving some mutually agreeable and useful resolution to an interchange.

I treat trolls like spam. If you don’t want to be mistaken for a troll, communicate lucidly and calmly. Multiple exclamation marks not required. If you make a claim, be ready to back it up with fact, reason and understanding. Pointing to a study that you’ve not fully read and absorbed will not be considered as evidence, and your behaviour will make it clear whether you have a grasp on the matter at hand.

Should you despise me for being male, white, English speaking, or for having any other properties, it is of no concern to me whatsoever. Whether you love or hate any given group is none of my concern. How you behave is my concern. How you treat people is. Racism, sexism, anythingism is not a problem. Acting on these limiting emotions–negative discrimination–is. We all have a history. We all have had different tools, or lack thereof, to deal with events that we’ve lived.

I welcome insightful conversation, including dissenting conversation.

Just be cool.

Feminism hurts women too!

Feminism hurts women too! Bumper sticker format 3.75 inches by 11.5 inches.

Don’t know which to choose? For print, use the CMYK. For online or screen only, use RGB.

I place these images in the public domain. Use them as you wish, no conditions or permission required.

PDF

Feminism Hurts Women ^ too! CMYK
Feminism-Hurts-Women-^-too!-RGB

Feminism Hurts Women ^ too! CMYK – Inverted
Feminism-Hurts-Women-^-too!-RGB---Inverted

Feminism Hurts Women ^ too! RGB
Feminism-Hurts-Women-^-too!-RGB

Feminism Hurts Women ^ too! RGB – Inverted
Feminism-Hurts-Women-^-too!-RGB---Inverted

PNG (file size web image)

White one with transparent background. Ideal for resizing. Right-click-> View image->Save as…

Feminism-Hurts-Women-^-too!-RGB---Inverted

Feminism-Hurts-Women-^-too!-RGB

Creative Commons Licence
“Feminism hurts women too” by Francis Roy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.