This originally started as a simple note of appreciation, and became a coffee-induced tome. I moved it here rather than burdening the comment thread with it.
My response to The Feminist Movement Screwed Us
“Home is the most important place for a man to be affirmed. If a man knows that his wife believes in him, he is empowered to do better in every area of his life. A man tends to think of life as a competition and a battle, and he can energetically go duke it out if he can come home to someone who supports him unconditionally, who will wipe his brow and tell him he can do it.”
With all this stirring in my heart, imagine my reaction as I passed by a Hallmark store the other day. On their most prominent end-aisle display sat gifts and wrapping supplies “for Dad,” including a gift bag that said in giant lettering: “Mr. (kind of) Fix-It” and a paper weight with the bolded statement “If I only had a brain.”
Please tell me which husband or father has either of these gifts on their wish list! Whether the statements ring true or not, I don’t know of a single man who wants to be reminded of inadequacy by the people he wants to impress the most…his wife and children.
The Feminist Movement Screwed Us
Nice to read something positive and encouraging about men for a change. I’m heartened by it, yet there’s a sad irony that a positive article about men should be considered to be heartening.
It’s been my experience, most of my life, that people will put more energy into keeping another down, rather than raising themselves up. The best times in my life were with people who were respectful and kind, and allowed me to be so as well. While in that crowd, I flourished. Once separated from that crowd and returned to “normal life” I observed a constant competition for status. Note that both women and men compete against each other and among each other for a higher social position.
Feminism has never really been about creating a better world, it was originally designed to allow more freedom for white, bored, richly kept upper-class female aristocrats. In a time where men and women who were not aristocrats had limited rights, these well-heeled women needed justification for their greater degree of freedom and sought injustice to provide validation for their self-serving agendas. The claimed that their fight was for “women’s rights”. Most certainly a meritorious cause, save for one thing: the claim that women’s lack of rights were the by-product of men oppressing them. Perhaps true in the aristocracy, but rarely true elsewhere. This eventually filtered down to the lower classes, where normal men, good, hard-working, family oriented, caring men were branded with the same mark.
The movement was reignited in North America with The Feminine Mystique, which came about a few years after my birth. Once again, this movement was not about equality for all, but about an apparent compensation for all of history’s injustices against women, as put forth by the English Aristocrats and applied to all women, of all classes for all times. History and facts be damned.
Enter the Gynocentric Era where women are perfect, and perfectly victimized by The Demon Oppressors–men. We men, a form of peer-to-peer distributed Satan infiltrate all aspects of society from the dawn of time to the present, from a global level to that of the infinitely recursive subtleties of culture. We are evil, oppressors, pigs, perverts. We are collectively the evil version of Lennie Small from Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men. Our very essence, we are told, is evil. And violent. And oppressive. And stupid. Throw rocks at us.
How fareth Thee, Women of the New Feminist Era? Are you happier? Are your children? Are your partners? Can you count on long-lasting relationships where you are treated as true adults, in right and obligation, thus meriting your own and other’s genuine respect? Or have you been blown about by the winds of whim? Should the latter be the case, you need only to recognize that only way for a seed of well-being to take root is to anchor itself in character.
It took many years for me to appreciate that my Grandfather’s admonishment that “adversity builds character” was, in fact, not tongue in cheek. Modern feminism, it seems, revolves around removing all possible and potential hardship from women’s lives. We must adopt special language, manners, know who stands where on the hierarchy of social status, and any non-acceptance of that status, let alone challenge to it is interpreted as oppression–a hardship, to be avoided.
It is time for women to readjust their standards in accordance with reality–if real relationships are of any value to you. Men are people. Some of us are rich, others poor, some of high character or low, of great strength, dignity and acumen or less. In short, we’re not perfect. Neither is any woman I’ve ever met.
Reality imposes itself. Women must choose between fantasy or reality. Fantasy, by it’s nature of being irreality will never bring an authentic and deep sense of satisfaction that can only be lived in reality.
I believe that both men and women will be happier, better rooted, more independent, healthier when we are mutually supportive rather than competing with each other. When I can trust that demonstrating interest in you will not result in debasement or a false-rape claim, then I might be bothered to talk to you.
Women, it’s time to step up. If No Means No and Yes doesn’t always mean Yes, and that you want a genuinely fulfilling relationship with good men, you need to be the first to demonstrate that you are worth our time.
Your Pussy Pass has expired and you are now expected to demonstrate up-front that you are full and complete human beings of good-will and intent willing to be active in building your own lives and having something other than a vagina to share. We are now Men Going Our Own Way, because it is the safest and most rational choice for us to make.
If you want to be in our arms, it’s time to put yours down.