Men are people too. If, as Warren Farrell says, women’s greatest strength is their facade of weakness and men’s greatest weakness is our facade of strength, would it not make sense that we treat ourselves and other men with the simple respect of honest communication?
I used to be Mr. Shield, hoping that bullets would bounce off of me. The problem is that they don’t. They dent and pierce the shield, and the torn armour becomes embedded in the flesh. I’ve learned that what is better is what I think of as “becoming transparent”, that is, to let things flow though you without permitting the bullet to gain any purchase on one’s mental or emotional flesh.
It is for this reason that I endorse and encourage men to become vulnerable. When we are hurt, say it. On the spot. “I feel hurt that you would say this to me, or treat me this way”.
The next bit is accepting that as men, we are not pigs, Male Chauvinist or otherwise. We are not rapists, Schrodinger’s or otherwise. We are not oppressors, misogynists, tools of The Patriarchy.
Name calling is one of the basest social control mechanisms, an instinctive one, I think. Consider: what is name calling if not an attack on one’s social status by attempting to reduce someone’s dignity in their own eyes: shaming.
Be vulnerable. Refuse shame. Be who you are. And don’t give up.
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