Women seek agency, men seek belonging.

Just a brief response to something I read on a google+ page.

+Tim Patten said: “Generally, females live for POWER, men for EGO.”

I would like to add that there’s a subtle observation to make to this. People seek what they feel they do not have. Women, as a generalization, may seek power, but it is not ego that men seek to fulfill, but a sense of recognition, which serves the purpose of having him be wanted–less disposable, which in turn is precisely what most women seek: a sense of security and control over one’s life. Each seeks what the other has, or seems to have. Women seek agency, and men seek belonging.

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3 thoughts on “Women seek agency, men seek belonging.

  1. Tarnished says:

    Eh, I am already a bit put off by his wording…using the term “females” alongside “men” is weird. It should really either be women/men or females/males.

    In general, my experience tells me that people of both sexes want acceptance most of all, though this can manifest as a desire of acceptance from coworkers, friends, bosses, family, or society at large.

    • Francis Roy says:

      Admitted that this is a slight clumsiness on the original author’s part.

      Looking beyond that, the point I believe he was making is that, as a generalization, that men tend to behave in direct and overt ways, and women tend to an more indirectly. Both parties have their ways, and women are just as prone to battles of dominance as are men, they simply tend to be somewhat more indirect about it, using subtler (and plausibly deniable) tools such as persuasion amd relational aggression instead of direct protection or physical domination.

      Perhaps our end-goals are the same, and the author is mistaking a woman’s means behaviour as and end goal, much as he did for men.

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