I especially appreciated this particular insight “A deeper point is that when a person feels like a victim they are often indiscriminate when choosing the object of their revenge.” It very much resonated with an experience in the days of my young manhood.
One of the women and feminists who most influenced me, unfortunately, was Mary. We were roommates for 3 years or so. She was literally an angry, militant, black, lesbian, hairy-legged, left-handed Feminist. It was a running joke.
As we were speaking, one day, she told me the story of how she consciously chose Lesbianism as a way of life, and tacitly accepted Feminism as the tenets that would inform her choices.
Mary and a man had a child. One day, over an incident, the rageful husband picked up the infant, barely more than week of age, or so, and hurled it against the wall, crushing the child’s skull, which inevitably lead to its death. The trauma that such an incident can cause someone is undeniable.
After some time, she felt the need for companionship, and still traumatized, she generalized her anger to all men. She made the conscious decision to exclusively engage in relationships with women, and chose Feminism because women supported her, gave her compassion and fed her anger against the man, which had become Men.
“Every time I hurt a man, I’m hurting him a little,” she had said to me. “But isn’t that unfair to all the men –to me– who’ve done nothing to you?”, I asked.
“Maybe,” she replied, “but that’s the way it is.”
“… when a person feels like a victim they are often indiscriminate when choosing the object of their revenge.”