This video is for context. Starts at 34 minutes.
Next, watch this, starting at roughly 23 minutes.
I watched the debate, I witnessed how his opponent brought the issue up. I’m a Canadian, for me, this is par for the course. I’ve always accepted that such behaviour is simply the way things are. I’ve experienced situations like this more times than I can remember, and as always, took it for granted that I was being treated in such a manner, because, being male, I deserved it. I’ve lived my life with this. The situation was no different than asking “Have you stopped beating your wife, yet?”
At the time, on the video, I thought to myself “How’s he going to get out of this?” It was a purely intellectual (although admittedly angsty) moment of calculating social messages. It wasn’t until this video that it dawned on me that this is what every-day sexism and misandry is. I didn’t recognize that Sage was being wronged. This is what internalized misandry looks like.
Sometimes, it takes another to stand up for you to realize that you needed to be stood up for. I have to ask myself “Why hasn’t anyone stood up for me like this when I was young?” I’ll tell you one thing: I’ll stand up for the next young man I find in this kind of situation.
We often hear complaints from Feminists and women, generally, that they wish guys didn’t “have to act so tough.” Do you know why guys have to be so tough? To defend themselves against the men that take up for women, for no reason other than trying to get laid. You know why guys get laid? Because they have the confidence that comes with the regular practice of putting up with this stuff. Women: want to to have a guy that is more “emotionally vulnerable”, and “more ‘in touch’ with their feelings” pick those that are and shun those that aren’t–and treat them well.
Feminists: do you want to know how to reduce the number of men that are genuine rapists? Stop putting out a constant stream of abuse that causes men to have to emotionally harden up against the attacks and messages that they are less than deserving humans, and so eventually not build up a psychopathology of resentment and the need for power.
Women can stop rape. Do your part. Treat men with dignity.